Issue 44

May 2013

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STRAY NEWS

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On a lighter note. Or not? from Jill Pullman

Are you ready for the “Home”?

During a visit to the doctor, Mrs. Jones asked him “How do you determine whether or not the older person should be put in an old people’s home”?

“Well”, he replied “we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub”.

“Oh, I understand“ Mrs Jones said “A normal person would use a bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup”,

“No” replied the Doctor “A normal person would pull out the plug”.

One for the older golfer.

Arthur is 90 years old. He has played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast.

“That’s it”, he tells his wife “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad. I can’t see where the ball goes”.

His wife sympathises. As they sit down, she has a suggestion,

“Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try?”

“That’s no good” sighs Arthur ”Your brother is 103. He can’t help”.

He may be 103, but his eye sight is perfect”.

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees off, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to his brother-in-law “Did you see the ball?”

“Of course I did” is the reply “I have perfect eyesight”

“Where did it go”?

“I can’t remember”.